Honestly this is more of a reminder to self but y'know.

I spent... uh, almost 6 years now fully dedicated to trying to gain art clout on Tumblr. Drawing, improving and waiting for the notes to roll in was my #1 goal for a huge proportion of my life, during some of the most important years thereof. I even dropped out of high school, setting my sights on working really hard at art and applying to a local art school I liked. (That didn't exactly pan out. I miss my friends.)

Two or three years ago, I thought I was finally getting somewhere when I started hitting 1000ish notes on some of my art. It was great... but then it slowed down... and stopped. I never passed 250 followers. Over the next couple of years, my notes crawled to between 2 and 5 despite pretty significant overall improvement. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my brand new, loving, and PATIENT friends from an art discord. (Love you guys, thanks for not hating me for being so miserable back then. o/)

So now, with Tumblr's self-implosion and a twitter thread that talked honestly about the fact that not everyone is going to make it... I'm here. For all the work I put in and everywhere I went along the way, I'm here on NG with little to nothing. I have my friends and I've made a few nice aquaintances - and let me be clear, that's far from nothing - but as far as that dream of a successful commission career? Not so much. I've been slowly embracing that I might have been stupid for chasing that dream and that it's dead. It's, uh, well, heartbreaking, frankly.

That said, I'm not here to be sad. I've embraced the idea that I'll be working minimum wage jobs so I can go home and draw things that make only me happy, and that's OK. That's just how life is gonna pan out.

More than that, I feel my chances of success could rise again if I undergo a significant stylistic change - One I already have a leg up on.

I actually used to draw stuff like this on my arms all day in school to pass the time.(These are from a little while ago)

I think between my sumi/ink lineart style and how I've been getting a little better at color lately, if I try to push something like this and really work hard to make it look good I could create a little unique niche and maybe make a tiny bit more money. Or at least notoriety. Or something.

And that's just kinda how it stands. I hope I get somewhere.